5 Ways To Be A Better Listener

Do you ever zone out while talking to someone and then you come to and you have no idea what they’ve said? It’s sad but we have all done it! Being a good listener improves our relationships and helps us build better trust with people. But now that we are living in the great age of technology it’s so incredibly easy to become distracted when someone is sharing their thoughts and ideas. What does it mean to be fully present in a conversation? If you’re in the habit of daydreaming of far-away lands while someone is trying to tell you something, how do you break that habit?

Today I want to share 5 ways that we can all listen better!

1. Listen to learn, not out of politeness

True dialogue only happens when we listen to someone out of curiosity and not generosity. It’s important to ask yourself “what am I wanting to learn from this interaction?”. Every conversation we have has something we can learn from it. If we are asking “how are you?” we are looking to learn about how that person is doing and maybe what they’re up to. But when we ask that question, do we truly care about the answer? We may not realize that we are listening out of politeness, but analyzing why we are in the conversation in the first place can help us prioritize listening to learn.

2. Show that you are listening

Body language can speak volumes in a conversation. We have been so used to communicating electronically that at times we forget what active, in person listening looks like. There’s so much power in a simple nod in the middle of a conversation. A simple movement that tells the speaker that you see them and you hear them.  Using body language can also add energy to any conversation. It shows the speaker that you are enthusiastic about the topic and that you are actively involved.

3. Avoid interruptions

We live in the era of disruptions and interruptions. I have definitely been guilty of this in past conversations. Have you ever been in the middle of a conversation and your phone rings or you get an important email and you glance down at your phone? Most of us have been guilty of that at one time or another.

4. Wait until someone is done talking to respond

When someone is speaking and you are already thinking of a reply before they have even finished the sentence, that says a lot about your listening skills. How can we truly be listening if we are just thinking of an immediate reply? A great way to practice active listening is to wait for the speaker to put a period at the end of their sentence. When you hear that period at the end of a statement, that’s when you should start formulating your answer.  

5. Follow up

Recapping what you heard and asking questions is a wonderful way to clarify what you heard and make sure you understand what was said. Be open and honest in your follow up and response.

Active listening is meant to encourage understanding and help both parties in a conversation gain perspective. I hope that these tips/techniques can help you become a better listener and communicator!

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